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I Don't Know What I'm Doing Here.

I've been reading the entries of this blog over and over again, realizing just how much I really have changed since the early days of my membership.

I also realize that nobody reads this shit, so why do I bother?

I guess I'm just looking for some kind of outlet. I get bored so easily these days, and don't know what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. I shouldn't be living like this...

Last night, I got some really really reall REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY good advice from the father of one my roomies. He told me he's going to get me a job in the roofing business. He also said that I don't have to decide what to do with my life RIGHT NOW. I can wait a few years. In the meantime, I'm supposed to put away at least half of ever paycheck I make, and just save it. The rest will buy what I need and pay my bills, and if there's anything left over, that will be my "sanity money". Using this method, I'll make a lot of money in just a few years. He told me that as long as I have a good job (such as roofing), I'll be able to afford this method.

I don't know why I bother writing all of this. Most of the stuff I type, I never tell anyone else. I feel as if my life is nobody's business, not a single part of it.... But then I just gush shit out online to people I don't even know...

If things don't pick up for me, then I might have to go home..... To my mother....

If that happens, I may just swallow a bullet. I don't want to go home. I want to live on my own, not with four idiots that are almost bigger bums than I am. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO NEXT, AND THIS WHOLE THING IS KILLING ME.

Joey told me the other day that I looked sick... I do feel weak. I'm losing weight, despite my enormous intake of food, and I don't know why.

I'm trying to move forward, and this roofing job will really help me get out of this rut... But it's not a definite deal. There's a chance I won't get it... If I don't, I'll just keep looking for work.

That's all I can do right now...

Cause thier might be a person on here that actualy does read this stuff lolz
Keep Faith and Stay Strong
I wish you luck
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October 2016

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